this is probably going to be the hardest good bye ive ever experienced. the fact that i will probably never see you again make everything a million times harder to swallow. i just can’t wrap my head around this. i can’t believe that in 15 days you’ll be across the country and i’ll just be a distant memory. everything we shared will probably drift from your mind and you’ll move on like it never happened. but for me it’ll be a constant battle to get on with my life because what we had was real, and i would have fought everyday to make this work. i’ve never felt this way about a boy, and what sucks is that i know you felt it too, but now that your date is getting closer you’ve changed. you’ve turned into a cold and emotionless person, and i know that isnt you. i know how loving, sweet, and caring you are. how passionate you can be, i saw it for 4 months. what happened? where did that boy go? why do you feel like you have to put this wall up for everyone. i will never forget the first time i saw you cry, and i’ll never forget the way it made me feel. when you hurt, i hurt. and when i was in pain, you always wiped my tears before they fell to the ground. but thats changed. i know i have to walk away and let you start the next chapter of your life. it’s hard to walk away from someone you care so deeply about, but it’s going to be even harder to walk away from the memories. there are so many things that make me think of you, you’re always on my mind, and it’s sad to know that i’m probably not on yours anymore. i knew from the beginning that you were going to leave, but i never expected to fall so hard for you, and i didn’t expect that things would end this bitterly. i put everything i had into this and never asked for anything in return, just being with you was enough. i’m going to miss everything about you. i’ll miss your laugh, your smile, your beautiful brown eyes. the way you pull me close and wrap your arms around me as we fall asleep. the sound of your heart beating as i rest my head on your chest. i’ll miss feeling your smooth warm skin pressed against mine. i’ll miss staying up til 4 am talking about anything and everything that comes to mind and never running out of things to say. i’ll miss listening to you talk for an hour straight about wrestling, even though i have no idea what you’re talking about, and even though ive heard you tell the same stories to me a million times i’ll miss hearing your voice as i fall asleep. i hate knowing i’ll never wake up and see you sleeping next to me again. i will never regret falling for you, because i’ve learned so much over the past 4 months. you showed me to live everyday like it was my last and never regret anything from your past. like your tattoo says “go on live, no regrets”. you know you have my full support for what you are about to do with your future, and i couldn’t be happier for you. i just hope that you achieve everything you want to accomplish in the airforce, and maybe one day our paths will cross and we can remember all the times we shared. god has a plan for both of us, and maybe, just maybe, our endings will be the same. i really hope they are because you’re everything i’ve ever wanted in a man. you make me feel safe. when you kiss me, i just melt, and the whole world stands still. that feeling is what i will miss this most. i hope we will be able to keep in touch while you’re away, because i would rather have you as a friend than not have you in my life at all. you’ll always have a special place in my heart.